Who is going to be on the Republican ticket?

With Dick Cheney planning to retire, everyone has been wondering whose name will be on the ballot with Bush Jr.

Worry no further. It's Zombie Regan for vice-president! Reaching out to all Americans, breathing or not, Zombie Reagan will be on the front lines, eating illegal combatants.

From the FAQs,

Is Zombie Reagan really that much of an advantage? Doesn't John Kerry have the zombie vote locked up?

No. John Kerry, in fact, isn't really a zombie. He is more akin to Frankenstein's Monster, built out of parts stolen from graveyards under cover of night. He simply claims to be a zombie for political advantage.