Learning from the Greeks

Rick Reilley of CNN/Sports Illustrated finds that Americans can learn a thing or two from the Greeks. From cheese pies that melt in your mouth, to taxi driving Athens-style.

But the best thing we need to bring home is the Greeks' Louvre-quality excuses. The Greeks are much too macho to confess, so they've turned excuse-making into the 38th Olympic sport. It's fun to catch them with their togas down, just to see what beautiful and simple lie they will tell to cover it up.

For instance, when somebody asked why they didn't finish paving all the walking areas near the venues, leaving only dirt, the Athens bigwigs didn't just fess up and go, "Well, we never quite got around to it." No, instead, they declared, "We wanted to recreate the feel of the Ancient Olympic Games." Do you just love it? There were plenty of witnesses on Day One of the doobie-shaped torch going out for a reported 20 minutes. The Melbourne (Australia) Herald Sun even ran a picture of it, colder than a popsicle. Did the Greeks admit it? No, sir. "It was not out," a spokesman with the Athens Organizing Committee said. "We were simply testing the levels." And the level we were testing is zero. It's like the health club at our hotel. It's beautiful, except that there's no ventilation of air of any kind, nor water, nor towels to grab. But when I mentioned it to the man at the front desk, he smiled and says, "But, my friend, isn't the point to sweat?" I can't imagine what their excuse is going to be for still having scaffolding up on the Parthenon. Here we are at what is arguably the biggest undertaking in the history of mankind, and they still don't have it ready. Not to be nitpicky, but if the Olympics isn't a big enough deal to take off the old scaffolding, what is? The big podiatrists' convention coming in October? I can hear their excuse now. "You see," they'll say. "The guy who was supposed to take it down was in this motorcycle accident, and ..."